1. Why do people abuse drugs and alcohol?
People usually use substances to change the experience of their physical, social or spiritual reality.
The underlying reasons usually are due to an emptiness, a dissatisfaction with life for a variety of reasons.
2. Why do most recovery attempts fail?
Drug use is a process, not an event. As such, that process can be interrupted before it turns into action.
You may be confused and depressed due to misinformation and many failed attempts to get clean and sober. If so, please consider the following reasons why many recovery attempts fail.
Many recovery attempts fail because people:
- Try to change their behavior rather than their thinking
- Have had too many "rescuers", shielding them from personal accountability
- Only target their drug(s) of choice rather than the underlying principle at work in their lives
- Never think about the way they think
- Focus on what not to do rather than on what to do
- Are taught to live a sober life "One Day -at-a -Time" and not progress to, "Tomorrow, Today"
- Over estimate their control and under estimate the seductiveness of their habit.
- Believe the sober life is "straight and narrow"(stale) rather than the "straight and wide" (with exciting options!).
3. I've had a bad temper for as long as I can remember. Can I ever change?
Anger is a natural, neutral, normal emotion. Aggression is not to be wedded to it. It is a different "species".
I'll help you develop more "gears" in your "emotional transmission" so you will be able to downshift and choose a non-violent response to the situation at hand.
4. My teenager is using drugs/alcohol! What the first thing I should do ?
Remain calm. Be assertive but not aggressive. Do not negotiate!
You must, to the best of your ability, get your child "off the grid". Break their connections to social media. Their social connections are the"oxygen" which feeds their "fire" of substance use. Expect more resistance than you think.
I suggest a professional evaluation and adherence to the recommendations which probably will include random alcohol/drug testing and cognitive-behavioral counseling.
Remember the issue: your child's behavior is a manifestation of their thinking.
They must feel respected and safe in a counseling relationship. A relationship in which they will risk sharing their thinking and be open to feedback.
Win the mind and you win the body !
What is the goal of treatment : Abstinence? No! Living life satisfied!
That is, teaching and supporting your child as they shape a life which they value and enjoy enough not to chemically alter it.
This will make more sense to your child.
"Hey, Ed - you ever been addicted to drugs?"
"No, didn't need to. I'm human."
Can you explain that?
( If you have any life experience, I know you can!)
" How do you quit using drugs?"
You don't quit drugs by quitting drugs! You quit drugs by building a satisfying life that you wouldn't alter with drug or drink!