"To Recover Or To Re-calibrate? That is the Question!"

What should be the goal of your self-help meetings? What should be the goal of the intervention programming you are attending?

Should it be to promote your ongoing "recovery" from the "disease" of addiction  or should it be to facilitate the re-calibration of your "moral compass"?  

If you believe you're truly powerless over your addiction and the best label your can ever aspire to is, "recovering addict/alcoholic", then seek continual support for your disease.

If, however, you know that your substance misuse was a series of conscience, poor choices and that only conscience, positive choices can "re-calibrate" your life's trajectory, then seek meetings and counseling which will encourage you to do so.    #Addictionrecovery

 - Ed@recoverreality.com         

Have You Been "Fooled" or do you "Rule"?

It Fools!  "I'm addicted to (drug of choice)!" 

It Rules!  "I'm addicted to the experience my drug gives me!"

It Fools!  "Stay clean by staying away from drugs/alcohol!"

It Rules!  "Stay clean by creating and living a satisfying life!" 

It Fools!  "First, I've got to work on myself!"

It Rules!  "Think of their recovery from you rather than your recovery from drug/drink!"

It Fools!  "Get a sponsor!"  

It Rules!  "Get a life coach!" (Life coaches address other life issues besides physical sobriety)

It Fools!  "Recovery" (suggests a return to a previous state - stagnation )

It Rules!  "Reimaged"  (Restored self-respect; familial functioning and active citizenship.                  

Reimaging rekindles the imagination, sparks creativity and promotes a zest for living! )

It Fools! "I need a new set of directions for my life!"

It Rules! "I need a new set of insights for my life!" 

Don't be fooled! Rule!

#Addictionrecovery - Ed@recoverreality.com 

Media Madness And the Puffing of Addiction

"Heroin is killing our town!" "The heroin epidemic is of unprecedented proportions!"

Really? I thought bad choices  are killing our town and there are people making bad choices in an unprecedented number.

If you believe that drug addiction is just like a cancer as it's purported to be by many,  then here's  a suggestion:

Instead of attending your usual self-help meeting, attend a local support group for cancer patients.  Simply attend and tell your story of your life and death struggle with addiction.   Then, liken your struggle with theirs.

Listen and contribute.  Engage others in a conversation.

You just might get a new perspective.  

“Heroin is killing our town!”

“Nah….it’s you in your mirror.”

If you are truly interested in a well-documented, compassionate treatment of whether addiction is a disease and the efficacy of our drug laws, may I recommend two books: The Biology of Desire by Marc Lewis and High Price by Dr. Carl Hart .    

#Addictionrecovery

-

- ed@recoverreality.com

Depth Beats Breadth

Regular attendance at a support group is usually portrayed as essential to maintaining one's sobriety. You may be encouraged to look for a meeting which has a lot to people, a variety of speakers, off road parking and great coffee.  Sounds like a plan! 

Contrast this with a meeting which is less attractive - few speakers, sparsely attended, on road parking and generic coffee.

Which would you rather attend?  All depends on your purpose.  If it's "all about you", by all means, go the big group!

If you've learned that "it's about others", you'll commit yourself to the needy, the unconnected people who could use your maturity and leadership.

You will then have to opportunity to teach them the truth about support groups.

You will teach them that their group attendance is valuable because it's the first phase of establishing  positive relationships. Relationships which can only be  developed outside the meetings.

That's right. Outside the meetings - for breakfast, with the kids a the park, beaching it, etc.

You know.

Only outside the meetings, through the normal activities of life, will you take your acquaintances to another level.

Depth of relationships will beat breadth of relationships every time!

. #Addictionrecovery

Ed@recovreeality.com

"Tomorrow, Today!"*

Maintaining sobriety is thought to be living one "day-at-a-time:" while minimizing stressors and avoiding "triggers" which may "drive" one to relapse.

Right destination, wrong route! The sayings, "Just for Today" and "A Day-At-A-Time",  have proven inadequate for the journey of recovery.

May I offer a thought which I think will encourage you and be more in line with living in reality?  "Tomorrow, Today!".

Make attainable, realistic  goals. As many as you like!

These are your "tomorrows"!   What are they? To be there for the birth of your child? To reconnect with family members?  To finally own a home of your own?  Whatever they are, they're yours - personal and authentic.

Question: For you to reach these goals of tomorrow,  what quality of sobriety to you have to keep today?

Thought so!  "Tomorrow, Today!"*

Think and act  with your wonderful and satisfying "tomorrows" in mind and today's sobriety will remain solid!   - ed@recoverreality.com

#Addictonrecovery

*Ed Bleu. 2015 All right reserved.
 

Meetings - Self-Help or Self-Hurt?

YOU HAVE A CHOICE!

Either go to meetings and hypnotically listen to "drive-by" speakers telling "war stories"

or

dynamically participate in meetings whose speakers that are “full of AIR”.! 

That’s right - full of AIR. !

"Hypnotic" listening is active passivity!  The stories touch the emotions but they don't equip you  with any actionable skills for your life outside the church basement!  

"Dynamic" listening involves the whole person.

Speakers and audience should be sharing transformational  Advice, Insights and Recommendations (A.I.R.) for each other's benefit! 

"What's in your basement?" - Ed

"It's Not My Fault!

Damn doctors! Everybody knows that for many heroin and opioid abusers, addiction started with opioid prescriptions from doctors.   Everybody, that is, except the actual opioid abusers!

It is true that prescription opioid abuse it a great problem in itself and may lead to heroin use. It is also true that some doctors over prescribe opioids.  However, the majority of opioid abusers do not have a prescription for opioids!  It's not their prescription! It's their fault!

It's quite convenient  to attribute the current opioid crises to "MD's Gone Wild'.  It's even been termed, "opioid epidemic".   

I agree with this terminology if we mean, "Affecting many individuals throughout an area at the same time." or " A rapid spread, growth,  or development".

I do not agree if we term the opioid epidemic as, "A rapidly spreading outbreak of a contagious disease".  To do so alleviates the substance abuser of all responsibility, portraying them as victims and releasing them from total responsibility to confront their actions and enact pro-social changes.

O.K. then, how did this opioid crisis develop? Answer: In the usual way. It's just that now, with the Fentanyl-laced heroin, people are using real "bullets".

In the vast majority of cases of opioid/heroin abuse I've dealt with over the past 25 years,  an individual begins their devolution with alcohol and/or marijuana.  They alter their state,  i.e. change their experience of reality for a variety of reasons.

It isn't long before they are socially seduced to experiment with other substances. Enter the pills, usually diverted Perc  30's.  Note: Their first taste of opioids is not their overprescribed medication. Nor is it the sharing of someone else's legal prescription.

Now, the user is faced with a dilemma. Pills cost real money. Either one steals to maintain one's habit or deal opioids for a discount- anything to avoid dope sickness.

Another option is always on the table - heroin. Cheap and by all accounts, more satisfying.

"Enter the Dragon!" Today's Fentanyl- laced heroin is much more potent and, in many instances, not heroin at all but pure Fentanyl. Real bullets!

The overwhelming number of opioid abusers develop their habit the usual way -  incremental use via social seduction.

Don’t fear the opiate "epidemic". Just realize that opiate misuse is endemic among those who chose to do so.

(P.S) That’s me on the right!

"90 Meetings in 90 days"

In order to support and encourage those in early recovery, it is often suggested that they attend "90 meetings in 90 days".

Though well-meaning, this counsel may contribute to more life stressors than it alleviates!

The responsibilities of life often demand we scale the walls of an A.A./N.A. meeting.

You have much to "recover" and you must expand your understanding of what it means to attend "90 in 90".

Since “recovery” encompasses all aspects of one's life, consider the following "meetings" as those that would fulfill the call to attend "90 meetings in 90 days":

A meeting with my child's teacher

A meeting with a credit counselor

A meeting with a therapist for my problem anger

A meeting with the RMV

A meeting with the DOR

A meeting with by book discussion club

 A meeting to acquire a library card

A meeting to join a running club

A meeting to enroll in a cooking class

A self-help meeting of substance, etc.

A medical appointment

A Tee time 

What do you think?

Advance from keeping "clean & sober" to "Recover Reality" !

Now get busy listing meetings for the next 90 days!           #addictionrecovery

                                                                                             - Ed@recoverreality.com

A Letter to My "Disease?"

In many treatment programs, invested counselors utilize an assignment which is usually given to those recovering individuals who have attained a measure of stability.

The assignment is really a request that the client write a letter to their "disease" i.e. their addiction. They're asked to reflect on how their substance use has ravaged their lives and by putting pen to paper, verbalize life lessons learned.

Through the years, I've read a number of such letters and have been deeply moved by the sincerity, pain and resolve couched in such writings.  Nevertheless, many of these people lapse. Others relapse. Still others, overdose and die.

What can we do? As treatment providers, it is incumbent upon us to provide our clients with what we know to be true.  We know that words shape ideas.  If those ideas are strong enough in our minds, they shape our thinking and subsequently, our actions.

To write "A Letter to My Disease" is an effort to communicate to an entity, a power outside of me.  It subconsciously supports the notion that my addiction is my assemblage of decaying body parts and dark thoughts which came to life and turned on me!

Please!

The exercise is a wonderful one. Just re-title it to reflect the truth of reality:

"A Letter to Myself"

I lost my reality by repeatedly making poor choices. 

I can recover my reality by repeatedly making good choices.

Try saying it this way: "Once an addict, Once an addict"  . . . because I say live so!

                                                                                                                     - Ed@recoverreality.com

Do You Have Life Insurance?

Well, do you? If you're sober today you do! Every time you resist temptation to drink or drug, every time you make a positive lifestyle decision, you're "underwriting" your life insurance!

You're the only one who can!  You are protecting your quality of life as you actively choose to align your actions to achieve your personal and professional goals!

That other insurance commonly known as "life insurance"?

Oh, that's "Death Insurance"!

You know, it's a paper policy which you pay for which guarantees money will go to your designated beneficiaries in the event of your death.  "Death Insurance" doesn't sound so inviting, so insurance companies prefer the term "life insurance".  

By all means, buy "death insurance" but live life insurance!  - Ed
 

How to Establish a "Hope-less Recovery"

That's right . . .a "hope-less recovery"! The mark of life-long sobriety!

Trust me - everyone who ever thinks of getting clean and sober wants to have a "hope-less" recovery!

Do you? Think about it for a moment.  To "hope" for recovery or "hope" I maintain my sobriety is to acknowledge that it is beyond my control to get and stay clean and sober.

Since continued substance use and relapse is a willful manifestation of my thought life, I do not have to use or relapse. Therefore, "hope" has no place in my arsenal.

I don't "hope" I stay sober, I do stay clean and sober!

If you lack confidence, you may have a hopeless recovery.  That is, you may be despairing of ever achieving a strong, progressive recovery. 

If you possess actionable skills and believe in your ability to manage yourself, you don't hope - you do!     -Ed

.

Mind Benders

# 1

Do not live the "straight and narrow" life!

Don't even consider it!

Active substance abusers and inmates in your county jails and prisons live "straight and narrow".  Think about it.  They followed their own "straight way" and now their lives are "narrow". For addicts and alcoholics, narrow by the effects of chemical use and for inmates, narrowed by the consequences of their actions.

Instead, seek to live law biding and substance free.  This "straight" way is "wide" with opportunities and personal freedoms.  The real "road of recovery" is NOT straight and narrow!  It is straight and WIDE! 

Do not seek to live "straight and narrow".

Stay straight and live "wide"!   - Ed

_______________________________________________________________________________

#2

Say it with me: "Once an addict . .  .

Did you day, "...always an addict"?  Yes, you did! I heard you! Change it up! Try this. . .

"Once an addict, once an addict!" 

Negative self-labeling is self-defeating! Do not define yourself by your darkest times!

Do not go to meetings and constantly identify yourself as an "addict" or "alcoholic".

Words have a way of shaping our realities.

Don't worry, you won't forget you once had a problem with a substance.

Let's try it again: "Once an addict, once an addict!" 

Feels right, doesn't it?

Recover Your Reality!

#3    

Do you think about your recovery?  DON'T!  NOT FOR ONE MINUTE!

Rather, think about their recovery from you . . . .the people you've hurt and  disappointed.  

You know who they are because you're a serious person.

You  were brave enough to examine your previously unexamined past.  

You discovered that you had to go backward to go forward.

You felt the pain and the true moral guilt of your actions.

Now, you've committed yourself to never acting like that person again.

You're not thinking about your recovery - you 're thinking of their recovery from you!  

Now, you can imagine a previously unimagined future - with them.

                                                                                                                                            - Ed

Ending the Heroin Epidemic

With heroin abuse and fatal overdoses on the rise throughout the country, various public service and health agencies repeatedly make the call for more detox/rehab "bed space" and the availability of NARCAN.

Though effective and absolutely necessary to stop the immediate "hemorrhaging", they are not the answer to the problem.

Though significant players in this tragedy, detoxes and NARCAN only offer stabilization from the "needle and the damage done".

 What now? What about the future? The children? Your Child?

I believe their is an answer. It may seem counter-intuitive so please, read on.

Do not focus on staying away from opiates to stay away from opiates!  The "stay away" approach results in a short-term, marginal recovery which is usually characterized  by individuals attending endless meetings or utilizing long-term maintenance medications which often still stimulate.

Rather than living a 'stay away' lifestyle, embrace a 'go to' lifestyle. That is, going to people, places and activities which offer positive, satisfying experiences which become precious, valued aspects of your life. 

What I'm not advocating is just staying busy to keep from using.  What I am suggesting is that what deactivates cravings and urges to use is a preoccupation with new passions - nurturing relationships,  developing talents,  pursuing business opportunities, parenting your children, etc.

These new values become your source of satisfaction and fulfillment.  They give you meaning, peace  and happiness.  Instinctively, you live or 'orbit' around these values in such a manner as to not to hurt or lose them.

The key to life-long sobriety is not substance management but life-style management.  "Orbital" recovery, if you will.

Recovery efforts should not focus on what not to do but only focus on what to do.

If you don't know how to do what you should do, find a Life-Coach and recover your reality!                                                                                                                                                          - Ed

ed@recoverreality.com

The One Big Thing

The one BIG THING, the one principle I believe should be the foundation of your recovery is this: be self-less not selfish!

Don't ever think about your recovery!

 Think about their recovery from you!

 Whose recovery?  Why, the people you love, the people you have hurt.

If you renew your daily commitment to serve, to be self-less instead of selfish, to change an attitude of, "Here I am!" to "There you are!", you will be different.

You will be sober thinking. You will be authentic.    - Ed        

"Recovering from Recoveries"

How you ever wondered if you can achieve a confident, life-long sobriety?

Ever wonder if it's possible to finally "recover from recoveries"?

How would like to exchange the thought of "Once an addict, always an addict." for "Once an addict, once an addict!"?

How would like to exchange your self-label of "alcoholic" or "addict" for your authentic labels of son, daughter, student, etc.?

The "Stop the Stigma" campaign should start at home.

Stop stigmatizing yourself! 

Are you tired of self-help meetings that leave you thinking about using or drinking rather than providing you with encouragement and actionable skills to help you get clean and sober for a lifetime?

The truth is, if you  want to do differently, you have to think differently.

The field of addiction recovery is peppered with information which can be confusing.

The "whatever works" philosophy hasn't! Relapse is so prevalent that it's accepted as "chronic". 

If you're a"shipwreck" of recovery meetings or you've given up hope of ever getting it together,  please write in or contact me.

Let's talk. Together, we can right the ship!  - Ed